I'm sure I have a lot to say

but for some reason lately I feel like I have nothing. I don't want to post all kinds of negative crap, but I also don't want to be all Mary sunshine when I'm not feeling Mary Sunshine. That's not to say I'm feeling negative all the time. I sometimes want to curse on my blog, but my dear uncle the mister reads my blog, and while I know he is a terrific guy and not a judgy pants at all, I can't get over the feeling that my uncle would be none too please to read his dear niece curse on the interwebs.

But to be honest this semester has been really hard. I don't like either of my classes, my boss at my "student assistant" job is asking way to much of me and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of by her and the entire department. She needs a full time assistant, so I don't think she is purposely taking advantage of me she's just really busy fuckin busy, I do however think maybe the office is taking advantage of me and using me instead of getting her the real assistant that she wants. Being super busy at my paid job, makes it a little difficult to get hours in at my not paid internship, (especially when the boss at my paid job keeps asking me to skip the internship and come work for her). Each week I start out thinking this week will be better and each week something comes up. For example I was thrilled to end daylight savings. I was having a lot of trouble getting out of bed in the morning because it was so dark and because I don't have much to look forward to during the day, and I thought ohh daylights savings will end, and it will not be so dark in the mornings, and my body will be used to getting up earlier, and going to bed earlier and form good habits and the rest of the semester will be good.... well monday started out that way, but by monday night I'd picked up a cold from my husband and I was feeling pretty crummy so tuesday I slept in a little more and then Tuesday was just a cluster fuck and the rest of the week was sort of weird.

I did have a really great day on Thursday and I have the day off today so it's not like everything is crappy.

My new husband and I seem to be fighting a lot lately and I'm not sure if I should even share that, but how does one have a blog when they feel like they can't share stuff. I feel like the fighting is all my fault because I know I'm just not that happy of a person right now and I'm taking it out on him, but then I get kinda pissy because I don't think it's all my fault.... it's a vicious circle.

I feel guilty because I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but when I really site down and think about it, I'm not actually that busy, and Jake gets up every day and goes to work, and works and he's probably busier than I am.

I'm just not sure what the deal is, I just can't seem to get it together. For a while I thought it was the weather, it just didn't seem like it would ever stop raining, but then it did stop raining and I'm still cranky.

Again don't get me wrong it's not like I'm always craky, I've had some really great days. Last weekend for example was great. Jake and I went out and threw the football around for a while on Friday, we took the dogs for a great walk on the Trinity Trails and then Sunday I got to watch the Vikes give it to the Packers, and make some really yummy food.

But overall, it just seems like I can't get my shit together, and without my shit together, I feel like I don't have anything to blog about except another instance of not having my shit together, and how I almost missed my appointment with my trainer last night because I didn't leave where I was supposed to be until 5:35 and because I didn't know exactly where I was I turned the wrong way and had to wait at two stupid lights.... blah blah blah.

So here is what I've decided. I'm going to blog more, or at least attempt to. It might be because I'm crabby and I might curse. This blog was intended to be an outlet for me so my friends and family could feel like they were still a part of my life even though I'm thousands of miles away from most of them. My life like most peoples is not always happy and this semester just seems to be a struggle. Of course I will try to post some of the nice things too.

So if you are still following my blog, or this post for that matter, I hope you stick around, I'll try to write more.